I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize