My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize