And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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