party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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