Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
