girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
