just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
