My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
