So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
