Can Purell be used as lube?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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