I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
