Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
