She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
