Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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