i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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