I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
