It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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