Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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