in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize