How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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