you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
