I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
