How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
