we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
