So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
