Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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