her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize