You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
