I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize