East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
