I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
