What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
