clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
