I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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