i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
