Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
