After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
