i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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