i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
