Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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