somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We have so much sex to catch up on
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
