I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
