I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
