Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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