he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
