is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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