Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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