You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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