Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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