Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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