well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
