when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
