Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
