My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
barbara walters just said penis...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
