What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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