I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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