just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This house was built for laser tag.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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