Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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