Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
