Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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