are you so shy because you have an std?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
