Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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