The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
look no pants
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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