so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How many fucks given?
0.12846
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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