Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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