Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
